Wednesday, December 14, 2011

My Take On Hanukkah Gifts

When I read my fellow blogger, Carla's article about Hanukkah without presents, I wanted to cry. Growing up with a birthday in the middle of Hanukkah, I always felt shortchanged from my fair share of the loot. I got one gift for two occasions.  To make matters worse, I also share a birthday with my mother. Whereas other children got a special day hogging the spotlight, I felt overshadowed by my mother. It doesn't take a psychoanalyst to figure out why I would be touchy about the subject of Hanukkah presents.

I agree with Carla that Hanukkah isn't supposed to be about presents, but we live in a country where the majority is celebrating Christmas with conspicuous consumption. Unless you don't mind your kids becoming bitter resentful adults like me, there's no easy way to convince your kids to forgo presents for the sake of moral/political/religious purity when all of their friends will be brandishing brand-new toys.

Seen through the eyes of a child, not receiving gifts for Hanukkah equates to not being loved. For me and my arrested development, I struggle with this as a gift-giver. I want my son to know I love him and that we made Hanukkah special from the pictures we show him one day. I know that I've over-compensated by drowning him with birthday and Chanukah gifts, and I risk spoiling him if I keep it up.

On the other hand, I simply can't take the moral high ground like Carla because I don't enjoy the benefit of having a large number of family and friends to give my son presents in my stead. If I don't buy Aiven any gifts, he won't have enough for each night of Hannukah. I admire Carla for having the courage to buck convention and celebrate Hanukkah with her own family's traditions. Her list of suggestions of what to do each night looks both fun and educational. If I could add just one thing, it would be to convince your kids to donate all of their new presents, or any old ones in good condition, to tzedakah.  That would truly be a beautiful lesson to teach your kids.  Let me know how it goes.  I have some more shopping to do.

Posted by Cara

1 comment:

  1. I admire Carla's intentions as well, but a big part of Hanukkah for me is the presents. We don't buy our kids much the rest of the year, and we start planning for their Hanukkah presents in August or so. We take a lot of care in choosing what they receive, and usually the gifts are things they been wanting for a long time. We freecycle and donate old things throughout the year too. But going overboard on Hanukkah for the kids (especially since I don't get anything for myself) is a big part of the joy of the holiday for me.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)