Where I Find My Friends

I am pretty intuitive - just ask anyone who knows me.  That being said, I boldly started a conversation with another mother at Whole Foods about a month ago.  As it has been recounted to me, I went up to her and said, "Hi.  I'm Cara.  Nice papoose."

I like to think I didn't sound so dorky.  But I did. The thing is, I wear my baby.  My husband wears our baby.  And this petite woman was wearing her baby too!  Even better, she had on the coolest coat ever!  It was a special one made with extra fabric to cover a baby in a carrier.  I thought it was brilliant.  And I knew instantly that I would like her.  In moments I found out her little guy was just two weeks younger than mine and she lived four blocks away.  A match made in heaven!  Playdates!  BFFs!

We chatted for a bit and I took her number (sounds like the beginning of a beautiful friendship, right?).  I texted "M" a few days later, we met at the park, and then went for some food.  My intuition was correct -- not only did we have a lot in common, so did our husbands (a bromance if there ever was one).

I love hanging out with new moms.  I get it why my single friends are M.I.A. - who wants to hear about baby poop all the time?  But with my new momma friends, I can geek out about all things baby related and it's all good.  We share information, give advice, brag about our kids, and support each other just by listening.

I am especially grateful I met "M."  I love having a friend to walk in the park with and it is so much fun to see our boys interact.  She is a bit more "earthy crunchy granola" than some of my other new momma friends and I love the different perspective.  We are moving out of the city in a couple of months and I sincerely hope we will keep in touch.

And then there is "R."  I met "R" almost 3 years ago.  I went to the standby line at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park to see "Hair."  Anyone who has done this knows you can either pass the time having a picnic with friends, or, in my case, standing awkwardly alone.  "R" was behind me and also waiting solo.  We struck up a conversation and did not stop chatting until we got our tickets three hours later.  Three years later, we are still friends.  She is one of those friends whom I wish I saw more often.  She is the friend who, even though we don't talk daily, was at Aiven's bris at 8 AM in spite of it being a workday and probably inconvenient.  She also brought over a home-cooked (vegan!) meal during those first few postpartum weeks when I was recovering from a C-section and figuring out the whole mom thing on almost no sleep.

I am very fortunate that I meet such wonderful people in random unexpected places.  Just to list a few others: I met the sister duo "D+D" on a jDate trip to Mexico; I met "L" on a PATH train as we were heading to the same wedding in New Jersey; and I met my husband at a bar.

It is so important for new moms to have a support network.  Sometimes it means having stick your neck out a little to make new friends.  Sometimes it means being a little awkward, goofy, or assertive.  You might need to get outside your comfort zone.  But as the saying goes, a stranger is just a friend you haven't yet met.