Less than two years ago, my life took a sudden turn for the awesome. I was at a singles Jewish event when I noticed a comely lass without a chaperone. Gentleman that I am, I challenged her to a game of ping pong. Undeterred by her withering rejection, I gallantly allowed her friend to beat me 21-12, 21-10, and 21-6 in what was supposed to have been a one-match tournament. Enchanted with my chivalrous display, this young lady whisked me away to another bar, whereupon she plied me with many shots of a curious liquor that made me spill my guts in more ways than one. We spent the rest of the evening chatting away until the sun rose and our romance bloomed. I dumped her two weeks later. But were this story to have ended there, I would not be writing you this update today. Oh no, for a few weeks after said dumpage, a little morsel of missing-her-ness and a liberal dose of remorse caused me to adjust my mating strategy from 'repel-commitment-at-all-costs' to 'accept-commitment-under-my-terms.' This strategy also failed, which led me into the highly successful plan now well underway called 'do-everything-she-says.' By means of this update, what I am trying to announce, in not so many words, is that I am now a married man. Her name is Cara, she's a Canadian, and she's a redhead. Yeah, I know, redheaded babies. We'll see about that. Stay tuned!
Friday, April 8, 2011
Husband's Alumni Bulletin Part 1
Alex wrote this just over a year ago. Clearly, he is the writer in the family.
Less than two years ago, my life took a sudden turn for the awesome. I was at a singles Jewish event when I noticed a comely lass without a chaperone. Gentleman that I am, I challenged her to a game of ping pong. Undeterred by her withering rejection, I gallantly allowed her friend to beat me 21-12, 21-10, and 21-6 in what was supposed to have been a one-match tournament. Enchanted with my chivalrous display, this young lady whisked me away to another bar, whereupon she plied me with many shots of a curious liquor that made me spill my guts in more ways than one. We spent the rest of the evening chatting away until the sun rose and our romance bloomed. I dumped her two weeks later. But were this story to have ended there, I would not be writing you this update today. Oh no, for a few weeks after said dumpage, a little morsel of missing-her-ness and a liberal dose of remorse caused me to adjust my mating strategy from 'repel-commitment-at-all-costs' to 'accept-commitment-under-my-terms.' This strategy also failed, which led me into the highly successful plan now well underway called 'do-everything-she-says.' By means of this update, what I am trying to announce, in not so many words, is that I am now a married man. Her name is Cara, she's a Canadian, and she's a redhead. Yeah, I know, redheaded babies. We'll see about that. Stay tuned!
Less than two years ago, my life took a sudden turn for the awesome. I was at a singles Jewish event when I noticed a comely lass without a chaperone. Gentleman that I am, I challenged her to a game of ping pong. Undeterred by her withering rejection, I gallantly allowed her friend to beat me 21-12, 21-10, and 21-6 in what was supposed to have been a one-match tournament. Enchanted with my chivalrous display, this young lady whisked me away to another bar, whereupon she plied me with many shots of a curious liquor that made me spill my guts in more ways than one. We spent the rest of the evening chatting away until the sun rose and our romance bloomed. I dumped her two weeks later. But were this story to have ended there, I would not be writing you this update today. Oh no, for a few weeks after said dumpage, a little morsel of missing-her-ness and a liberal dose of remorse caused me to adjust my mating strategy from 'repel-commitment-at-all-costs' to 'accept-commitment-under-my-terms.' This strategy also failed, which led me into the highly successful plan now well underway called 'do-everything-she-says.' By means of this update, what I am trying to announce, in not so many words, is that I am now a married man. Her name is Cara, she's a Canadian, and she's a redhead. Yeah, I know, redheaded babies. We'll see about that. Stay tuned!
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